Saturday, 13 September 2014

Writing Warriors! These children have made good progress in writing this term

Gerry, Arama, Harmony,Anthony, Hanita, Shacay

Last week Room 5 sat an AsTTle persuasive writing assessment. I am particularly proud of Anthony's and Gerry's piece.

Make Smoking Illegal
By Anthony Year 5

I think smokes should be illegal in N.Z. Plus, you should never touch a damn smoke anyway!

One reason why smokes should be illegal in N.Z is because they are addictive, the addictive part of a smoke is the nicotine. Do you smoke in the car with your kids? Well there’s  a thing called second-hand smoke too. It’s when your breathing it in instead of smoking it. As a matter of fact, millions of kids die every day from exposure to second-hand smoke. Unbelievable!

Another reason why smokes should be illegal in N.Z because it disgusting stuff in it that cause the body harm. The thing that grossed me out was the dead body preserver, I think that grossed you out too. Another disgusting thing is the core ingredient of nail polish remover, gross aye?

My last reason why smokes should be illegal in N.Z is because they cost heaps. If you are a smoker that smokes a packet a day, you are spending over $7,000 a year!! You could be rich as and have a cool as house! What would you do if you were in primary school and you were offered a smoke? Would you say “yeh bro giz us a puff” and ruin your life and be homeless or say “nah bro allgoods” and be the prettiest in the world. In fact, millions of kids each day have their first smoke, isn’t that flabbergasting!

In summary I think cigarettes should not be sold in N.Z because they are addictive, they have gross stuff in it that cause the body harm and they cost heaps. So are you with me, no smokes?

Bigger Bus A Must
By Gerry

I think that Tautoro School should get a bigger town bus.The bus we travel on at the moment is unsafe and it is a nightmare for Tautoro School.

One reason why I think Tautoro School should have a bigger town bus is because the bus we have is way too small for all Tautoro School that catch the bus to town.Don’t you think this is outrageous?People have to get squished in their chairs we have to sit three in one chair. I think that is devastating.Do you think that is dreadful and unfair?I think that Mrs Paraha gets disappointed when she catches the bus with us.Being the eye of the bus isn’t really easy.In other words Mrs Paraha always catches the bus because of some peoples behaviour.When theres a teacher on the bus the teacher has to stand up and they want to sit down, but they can’t because the bus is to small. Don't you think that is a little bit hash?

Another reason why I think Tautoro School should get a bigger bus is because it is dangerous,for example people who dont have a seat has to stand and when  we go around corners those who are standing will fall.Is this what you want?How would you feel if that were you?I would feel heartbroken!If we had a bigger bus then that will be one of Tautoro Schools best dream they could ever have.Do you think Tautoro School has ever had a nightmare like this before? If you do, you are wrong.

In summary why I think Tautoro School should have a bigger town bus is because the bus that we are using is way too small and it is very dangerous.Come on Whaea Desirae can you please get us a bigger bus.This isn’t fair. Isn't this what Tautoro School is about - caring?