Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Writer of the Week - Iverson

I am so proud of Iverson. One of her goals this term was to write engaging stories like Paul Jennings. This is what she wrote for her Term 2 recount assessment on Monday. One word - AMAZING! Read it to believe it.

What Lies Beneath 
By Iverson Year 6
 WARNING This Story may not be told to the children under the age of 8. Well, it could be, it's kind of funny. On a raw, misty Saturday in Kaikohe there I was in my house, walking as slow as a slug through the hallway to reach the fireplace. When I got to the fireplace I lay down on the ground by the fire and could still feel that cold icy breeze flowing through my hair like a river.

Then my Mum walked in and danced to her beats on her speaker. She said, “ It might just be a good day to go to the beach in Paihia.” I replied, “ Can you see? Can you feel, its cold as snow outside.” She danced, “ but the sun’s rising up. It's a great day to be playing outside and doing activities.” “ OK,” I Moaned. I got up off the floor and went to go get ready. One Hour later the sun was rising up and we were all ready to go so we put our stuff into the car. We drove off.

What seemed like a few turns later Jaryn shouted “Mum! Beach!” mum replied, “ yip we can go to the beach today Jaryn.” He shouted, “YAY!!” We took the last car park on the block and all we could really see was lots and lots of children playing in the sand and in the water. Mum said, “ go on you guys, go have a play we're not gonna be here too long.” We replied “ok, we will be back shortly.” Off we went.. Wondering around like little hindi dots in a crowd.

Kohl-lee was watching Jaryn and I was playing near the water. A few minutes later I walked into the water as deep as an adult can go. I couldn't feel the ground. I didn't even know how to swim properly. When I went to turned around I noticed something in the water. I went under the water to check out what it was. I couldn't see a thing! It was pitch silver. Haven't heard that one before aye? Anyway, all of a sudden a mysterious thing got hold of my back!

I tried to call for help but my mum was like months away from me. I panicked. I Doggie paddled to shore and ran onto the sand. There it was the culprit that got hold of my back. It was a humongous, big, tremendous... pile of seaweed. “Huh” I let out a big breath.

 All of a sudden mum shouted, “come on let's go!” I replied “Ok, be there in a sec.” I was so relieved it wasn't anything major. Feww! Ohh, and one thing I recommend is only go swimming up to your neck, otherwise things will get a bit scary. That was the scariest experience and It's was kind of funny too. I will try to forget about that time ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.


  1. Hi Iverson
    Great that you won the writer of the week. I very munched enjoyed reading your story you used lots of good bit of direct speech.
    Braeden Ohaeawai school.

  2. Hi Iverson
    I am from Paihia School. I really like your story it is very interesting, you have used lot's of similes keep up the good work.

  3. Hi Iverson
    I am from Paihia School. My name is Izaiah. The thing I really love about your story is that you used similes and Onomatopoeia. It was funny too.
    Keep up the good work.
    From Izaiah

  4. Hello Iverson
    I enjoyed reading your story especially because of all the superb describing words and just remember keep up the amazing writing

    From James
    St Patrick's school greymouth

  5. Hey Room 5, my name is Amelia and I go to Gilberthorpe School in Christchurch.
    This story is super cool because it has WARNING which was amazing because most of the stories I read don't have a WARNING on it.
    It reminds me of movies and T.V. shows!
    If you want to come to my blog here is a what to search!

  6. Hey room 5,my name is Izzy I'm a Year 6 girl from Gilberthorpe School.
    This story is awesome I love it. It has so much description I think if you keep writing you will become something big.
    Why do you have the warning at the start of the story?

  7. Kia ora Room 5. I am Jasmine from Gilberthorpe School I am a Year 5.
    Well done on getting writer of the week. This is a really awesome story I would like to say that I would not be able to write that. Kai pai and keep up the good work.
    If you would like to come and take a tour through my blog here is the link: